You Are Not Alone

I used to blame myself for everything. I worked hard, sometimes too hard, and tried to be diligent and responsible. That's not to say I was perfect. I wasn't, but I did genuinely try to do my best. I was quick to apologize, and steadfastly sought to correct my mistakes. Somehow, though, I was never good enough. I was never acceptable enough. I never met the expectations of those around me. It's no joke that some even said, "ANYONE, but her!"

Then one day I realized, it wasn't... me that was the problem. It was the hardness of other's hearts. It was about what some thought I owed them, and the selfishness of others. It was about who they were, not what I had done or how I looked or anything else that had to do with me.

You can't please those kind of people. You can't reconcile with them. You can't get low enough to placate their need for supremacy. To try to do so is to constantly see yourself as completely unworthy. Useless. Undesirable. Trash.

So, what did I do? I stopped looking at them, and walked away from them, emotionally. I started looking at and living for Christ alone. I started seeing myself beloved in His eyes. I started dwelling on what it took for Him to sacrifice Himself for me.

The hurt went away. The guilt went away. My frown became a smile and my agony, joy.

The evil seeks to tear us down and he will use anyone and anything to do it, but God seeks to elevate us. The evil one is downtrodden. So, he does not want you lifted on angel wings. God is on high, and He desires to bring us to Him. One is a destroyer, a bringer of death. The other the Giver of Life.

Are you alone? Are you downtrodden? Does your heart ache? Do you feel useless, unwanted . . . disposable? Christ took the nails in His hands and feet to prove how very much He loves and desires you. He was spat on and defiled, because you mean that much to Him. Mankind can be heartless and cruel, but God is merciful and loving. So, don't look at man. Look at God.

You are not alone. You are loved. You are not useless. God has a place for all of us. You are not garbage. You were made for a reason. You have a purpose. Fulfill your purpose, and God will fill your life. Focus on Him and you will not have time to be lonely, or sad, or discouraged. There is much to do, and few to do it.

The evil one can pull us down if we let him. I have been there more than I care to admit. The only way I survived was to look full on at Him, to worship and adore Him, to obey and serve Him, and to push away from all the sorrow the evil one laid at my feet. In immersing myself in Him, I would look up and find myself surrounded by angels. Now, the only thing "special" about me is God in me. So, that means if you do the same -- immerse yourself in Him -- you will find you aren't really alone, either.